


Never Forget

by Jellybonkerz



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-04 00:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellybonkerz/pseuds/Jellybonkerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a major conflict on earth that leaves Rose wounded, and the TARDIS damaged and in the vortex in need of repair. When Rose awakes and is unable to remember anyone, not even the Doctor and his worst fear come to life that the woman he loves isn't even the same person. Ten/Rose/OC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Rose! Rose, please wake up!"

The voice sounds scared, desperate, and so far away everything feels like a thick fog and his voice echoes through my mind. Maybe I'm dreaming? Something is telling me to hang on to that voice, to follow it.

"Come on Rose, you're safe now." The voice said closer now, but still just a whisper against my ear. I can feel his warm breath on my face as I try hard to focus my attention. My head is throbbing, but it feels so muddled, everything is confusing. That voice, it grounds me. If I can just reach it. Something as simple as thinking is much harder than it should be, I try and talk but can't, and the only thing I can muster is a garbled moan. The pain is so intense, it hurts to think.

The stranger's voice is back now, louder this time. His voice is excited, frantic. "Hey, there you are, come on now Rose. Open your eyes for me”. Cool fingers caress my forehead, then slide along my cheek. It feels so right, even if it doesn't relieve the pain. And I try and open my eyes. All I want is to see this man with the kind voice, he sounds so sweet yet so frightened. I have a need to alleviate that fear, but my eyes feel too heavy.

When I try to reach out and touch him, my fingers twitch. Frustrated I try again, this time I am able to raise my arm, and cold fingers thread themselves through mine. His hands are so chilled, yet it’s not cold in here.  In fact, it’s a bit on the warm side.

"I'm right here Rose. I'm not going to leave you again, we're safe in the TARDIS. You're going to be alright. Open your eyes. Please." His voice cracks as he speaks.  And I wonder if he has been crying, but not because of me? I can't remember what happened, and why I am here. This voice, this man he speaks as if I should know him, but I don't. I can't…

"It hurts." I groan. My voice sounds strange, alien. I can feel his lips on my palm, his breathing shallow. I must have been injured pretty badly.

"Where does it hurt?" He asks as he gives my hand a slight squeeze.

"Head," I croak. My mouth dry, it’s as if I swallowed a razor.

"Okay, I'll give you something for the pain." But when he tries to let go of my hand panic sets in, I don't want him to let go, I don't want to be alone. I squeeze his hand as tight as I'm able, to keep it close with what little strength I have. All of this is so intensely frightening. I don't want him to go, not even for a moment, if I do I'll be lost again.

"It's alright. I won't go far, just across the room. Everything I want to help you is right here, I'm not going to leave Rose. I just want to give you something for the pain."

"Please don't." Tears sting my eyes and my words come out in more of a sob than I meant it to but it couldn’t be helped.

"Okay. It's alright, I'm right here. I'll wait," he says with a soothing tone, his cold fingers linking with mine again.

I try again to open my eyes, they are swollen and gritty.  A tear rolls down my cheek as I make my eyes open. A bright blinding light shines  into my eyes, a sharp pain shooting through my head, causing me to squeeze them shut again. I whimper.

"Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry," he babbles. There is a soft click from above, "I forgot, I'm sorry. It's off now."

"Mph," was all the sound I can manage. Slowly I try to open my eyes again, the room is dim, dark splotches pulsing from where the light had blinded me. I squint, trying to look around, my head falling to one side. I can almost see him there, just the edges first. He leans towards me, but his face and most of his body are eclipsed by the black round sphere caused from the light.  I blink, the dark shape before my eyes quickly coming into focus.  I see him now, my heart skips a beat. This was not what I expected.  He is quite attractive, but looks as if he has been through hell.  He is wearing a dark brown pinstripe suit that is shredded and charred. A wild thatch of dark brown hair sticks up all over, but seems to suit him well enough.  Small cuts, bits of dirt and dried blood cake his face, but the way he looks at me with such intense emotion, makes my stomach tighten.

"Welcome back," he grins, bringing my hand to his mouth, pressing his lips to the palm of my hand again. "You gave me quite the scare."

"What happened?" My voice cracks. Still my voice sounds so funny to me, almost like it's not my own.

  


He frowns, his brow knitted together. "You don't remember?"

  


I try to think, but everything is so confusing nothing made sense. There is something at the edge of my mind, but I can barely hang onto the memory before it slips away again.

"No, I-I don't… I."

" Shh . It's okay Rose. You hit your head hard," he said and brushes a bit hair from my face, his fingers linger against my cheek. "It's not uncommon to have memory loss of sorts." He was still frowning, and he's trying to sound reassuring, but I don't even think he believes it.

"Where?" I try and look around the room, but nothing in this place appears familiar.  It reminds me of a hospital, but even that feels wrong.

"We're in the TARDIS. I had to take her into the vortex after the attack. She’s been damaged. We'll need to stay put while I do some repairs."

Something changed at that moment. I don't know if it’s because everything this man has been saying to me sounds like utter nonsense, or if it had to do with my expression, but his whole body tensed, and his eyes, they bore into mine.

"Rose, what is the last thing you remember?" It was a momentous question, as if everything in the world depended on my answer.

I stare back at him trying to remember something, anything at all that happened before I woke up here. Everything is jumbled. I realize I have no idea who this man is, and from the moment I woke up I've been staring at a complete stranger. Nothing at all about him is familiar.  What I do know is that I’m drawn to him. Fear begins to bubble up, but I try to hold it back.  It won’t help anyone if I lose it now. I shake my head slightly.

"I don't…" He releases his grip on my hand and sits up stiffly, his gaze never leaving mine. It seems as if he’s searching for something.

"Do you know who I am?" He asks with an edge of apprehension in his tone.

"I don't, I'm sorry…" He flinches. I know it isn’t the answer he was hoping, and feel horrible for even speaking.

"It's alright, don't be sorry," he swallows hard and stands. The sounds of the chair scraping loudly across the floor rattles through my head. "I'll fix this," he splutters, "don't worry Rose, I will fix this."

He turns away and walks swiftly to the other side of the room forcefully pulling open drawers and rattling about, until he found what he was searching for and slams the door shut. I flinch, it’s as if every little noise around me has been amplified by a million. So much is happening at once and all I want to do is go to sleep.  I close my eyes and take a deep shaky breath. I want this day to be over, and with exhaustion taking over I start to drift off to sleep.

"ROSE, wake up, you can't sleep."

I groan, opening my eyes. He’s standing over me now, fear and concern written clear all over his face. This man can’t seem to hide his emotions. He holds out a small plastic cup.

"Drink this, I don't have Aspirin on the TARDIS anymore, but it’s safe for humans and it works better." His voice is warm again and I can tell he is trying not to upset me, but I think we're beyond that now.  Carefully I take the cup as he helps me sit up, my whole body protesting and aching everywhere.  Whatever happened to me must have been pretty awful to cause this much pain everywhere.  I look into the cup to see a brownish sludge that smelled of strawberries.  I look up at him with uncertainty, but he smiled and nods.

"Bottoms-up." I try to sound cheerful but fail. I hold my breath swallowing it down in one giant gulp.  I coughed, the strong taste of oranges was not what I was expecting.  He rubs my back in an attempt to sooth me. "That was unexpected." I choke, causing him to chuckle. The man pulls the stool over to me, sitting as close as possible. He carefully takes the cup and sits it on the small table beside him. 

"Rose, I want to try something. Normally I would wait, it's dangerous enough, but I think it will help."

"Ah, Okay." I’m not sure where he is going with this, but if this means I would remember everything. I wasn't about to back down from him.

He thumbs at the blanket that covers my knees. He seems so nervous so I lay my hand carefully over his which causes him to look up at me and smile. "I want to create a mental connection with you, a small one. I want to check to see how much damage, and if I can fix it without risk to you I will.  I'll only know the extent of the memory loss once I'm there."

All I am able to do is sit and stare as his words sink in, I'm having a stroke. I must be because in no way did I just understand what he just said. He sounded like a loon, and I'm starting to regret saying yes to this madman. I think he picked up on the direction of my thoughts. His eyes widen and he takes hold of my hand again, squeezing it tight.

"Rose, ah, I went the wrong way of asking, I'm telepathic," he blurts out as if telling me this would make it all better. "Don’t worry, I won't look at anything I shouldn't, I promise. I just want to make sure you're okay."

Even though I know he's trying to sound reassuring, I'm pretty much ready to get the hell out of here at this point. If it wasn't for the painful throbbing in my head, and the fact he's holding my hands pretty tight now, I would be gone.  

What do I say?  'I'm sorry strange man, but you're crazy, and I want to go home,'  I doubt he'd take that exceedingly well. I don't know where home is through, do I even have a home?  Who is he to me, my boyfriend, husband, brother? Eh, let's not think about that one right now. I think at this point I should just go along with this. What's the worst that could happen? Okay, not thinking about that either.

I nodded. "Alright." My heart hammers as if it’s going to rip its way out of my chest. When all of this is over I am so running for the hills.  His whole body relaxed once I agree, his thumb rubbing smooth soft circles on the back of my hand.

"This won't hurt, I'll just be in and out, ten minutes tops.  I won't go rummaging around if you don't want me to see something just imagine a door and I won't look okay."

I sigh .  And yet something inside of me still says to trust this man, no matter how much crazy seems to be spewing out of his mouth right now. I nod again, and he reaches up fingers gently caressing my face, sliding up to my temples. My heart is racing wildly, and my stomach tightened.

“Stop with the dirty thoughts.”  I scold myself.  “I can't find Mister sexy gorgeous, he's a nutter. Unless of course I'm into that sort of thing. I don't think I am. Oh god, he's smirking at me, and he's in my head, did he hear that? Now I sound foolish.”

"Relax Rose, you're not crazy. I need you to calm down so I can do this."

“Relax he says, right, okay.”  I take a deep breath, letting it out slow. I can already feel the tension as it leaving my body.

"There we go, that's it," his voice is soft and so sweet, there’s a slight pressure in my mind. It doesn't hurt, if anything it feels quite comforting. His smile widens and his thumbs brush lightly against my cheek.  My eyes slide closed.  A small burst of intense pleasure ran through my whole body causing me to gasp and shudder, I've never felt anything like it.

"Sorry," he murmurs. That's the moment when I realized he is inside my head. Like really, inside of my mind. It was a lot to take in right now. I can sense him, I can sense his thoughts, his emotions. Pictures flash through my mind, so fast that I can’t take hold of just one. Small moments of time, and with every moment there is a powerful emotion attached.

"Just breath," he whispers. His warm breath against my cheek. I realize at some point through all of this, he had stood up. His face was so close now. His lips almost against mine. I want to kiss him, so badly. This time it was his breath that hitched and moved closer, his lips brushing light against mine, there was a spark. And it is like forever and yet no time at all. Like I had lost something I never knew was missing and I just now found it, within him. As if I had always been empty, but now I’m complete.

He groaned, his forehead resting against mine, and it’s like a flood of intense pleasure, desire and need. What is this man doing to me? Was it always like this? Does he do this to everyone or am I just lucky?

" Ros …" He moans as his whole body goes rigid and it’s as if someone had dumped ice water into my head. I cry out as the pain overwhelms me. Jerking back, I press my hands against my head. I hear him fall back into the chair, gasping for air.  Then, just quickly as it came, the pain is gone. Hot tears stream down my cheeks and a sob escapes my throat. I feel so empty now, so alone, like something so powerful has been ripped away from me.

I look up at him, and what I see shakes me to my core. He is wide-eyed, glaring at me with severity, as if he could burn my soul with just his gaze. I lean away from him, fear taking me over me like a tidal wave, the loss and longing for him still lingering and making me more confused. He steps closer, bearing down upon me.

"Who are you?" He hisses, my whole body trembling with the accusation. My words are lost within his intense glare. "WHO. ARE. YOU?" He growls, slamming his hands on either side of my legs. I cringe but he seemed to notice nor care. "What have you done to Rose?" He spits. His face inches away from mine. "ANSWER ME!" Anger, fear, loathing rolled off him in a rush. His emotions rolled off of him consuming him and me. All I want is to run away, to save myself, but I can’t, my body refuses to move. I sob, unable to hold back the tide of tears.

"I don't know," I cry, fear and pain taking over my entire body.

"If you've hurt her in anyway, I will destroy you. Now you tell me who are you, and WHERE IS ROSE?"

  



	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a major conflict on earth that leaves Rose wounded, and the TARDIS damaged and in the vortex in need of repair. When Rose awakes and is unable to remember anyone, not even the Doctor and his worst fear come to life that the woman he loves isn't even the same person. Ten/Rose/OC

A sudden jolt made me feel as if my whole world were spiraling out of control around me.  The fear in the room was palpable.  I could still feel his emotions they were all jumbled up with my own it was difficult to tell where his began, and mine ended. Fear, rage, confusion, loathing thrummed through me, it had become so painful my entire body began to tremble.  No matter how much I fought against it and tried to push it down, nothing worked. So I decided to try something else.  Slowly I moved away from him scooting myself further back away from him.  But he countered my movements and pressed himself against my legs pinning me firmly in place.

“What have you done with Rose,” he growled through gritted teeth.

“I don’t know,” I sobbed loudly, frightened I leaned as far away from him as I was able.  He growled a low menacing sound and leaned in closer his face now mere inches from mine.  His breath felt hot against my cheek, the same breath that not a moment before that gave me pure pleasure now caused my stomach to twist in fear.  Brown eyes were glaring, and burned with indignation, roughly he tapped his finger three times against my forehead.

 “You’re. Not. Rose,” he hissed, every tap of his finger caused a sharp pain through my skull.  “You’re in her body, but you’re not her, and she’s not in there with you.  I know Roses mind, I know her better than she knows herself.  So I’m going to ask you one last time.  Where is Rose and what have you done with her?”

“You’re insane,” I whispered batting his hand away from my face.   He straightened up my actions stilling him, and reminded me of a statue as he loomed over me, staring into my eyes as if he were searching for something.

It had felt as if time had slowed down to a crawl, his jaw flexed, nostrils flared with every breath. “Right,” he spat.  Carefully backing off his movements were stiff but filled with determination never taking his eyes from mine.  I might have felt a sense of relief to keep some distance from him, but the real danger from this man kept me feeling anything but intense fear with a desperate need to run.  But where would I to?  I didn’t even know where I was or where I would go if I got away from this mad man.

With one fluid motion, he turned and grabbed the chair, then spun back around slamming it down in front of me.  I flinched as he flopped down onto the chair and crossed his arms tight to his chest, glaring at me.  His fury bubbled under the surfacewhile his expression was calm, but his eyes continued to burn.

 “Tell me what you remember.” His voice softer now but the edge was still there, I’m not sure what was more frightening his flippant anger or this cold rage.

“I don’t…”

 “You don’t know, you said that already. What I don’t know why you’re in Rose’s head, but I’m going to find out one way or another.  So I think you better start trying to remember, and I want the truth because I can tell if you’re lying to me.  And you don’t want to lie to me.”

 I needed to calm my mind and relax, I knew this.  I closed my eyes taking in a deep shaky breath, the tension slowly draining from my body.  I can’t look at him anymore, I can’t stand to see the hate that I caused, even though I don’t know how or why.  The last thing I remember before waking up was...

 ‘ _Think, think,’_ I cursed myself inwardly.  A mind numbing darkness was all there was at first, then I could hear the sounds echoing at first.  There had been a fire, I remembered the screams as they echoed through my mind, so many people frightened. The smell of burnt flesh and hair choked me.  It was like I was there living it again, my eyes burned.  I swallowed a hard lump that formed in my throat.  I’m unable to breathe, I gasped as I tried to suck air into my lungs, but it became too painful.  Everything was burning around me, everyone dying.  I can see it now. Fires burning people running, trying to get away. Burned bodies lay scattered in the street, some chard to blackened bone. There were machines heavy metal men, they destroyed everything around me, I was frightened I didn’t know what to do I wanted to help, but I don’t know how.  Then she was there, the golden girl her clothes all torn and covered in dirt mud. She was shouting at the people who were running about, but nobody would listen. She was trying to help them.  She then turned and looked at me, she ran towards me, her hand clasping tightly around my wrist.  My hands were covered in blood.

  _How did that happen?_ I wondered, but before I could think any more about it she’s pulling me along with her shouting at me, but I can’t understand.  There’s too much noise, too much destruction, I tried to scream, but all that came out was a garbled cry as I tried to break free of her grasp.

“It’s okay, it’s alright.  Hey, hey you’re safe.” His voice no longer held angerbut was filled with worry. Hands rested lightly on my knees, he squeezed his touch was reassuring.  “You can open your eyes, everything is alright just look at me,” he coaxed.

“I’m scared.”

“I know, I am so sorry I frightened you.  We’ll figure this out together. Alright?”

I nodded absently my eyes open a crack. I could see him standing again in front of me. He no longer looked angry, just worried.  When I opened my eyes fully, he forced a turbulent smile.

“What’s happening to me?” I asked weakly. I was a lot tireder than I felt before if it were even possible.

“Don’t know but we’ll find out.” He didn’t sound too convinced, but at this point it seems like I have no other choice but to trust him. “Tell me what you remember, then you can rest.”

“So many people, screaming, running.  So much death,” my voice sounded small and weak.

His thumb traced small circles on the top of my knee.  It was gentle, reassuring. “I know, it was tough out there, but I want you to think. What happened before you were hurt?”   

I focused on his touch as I recounted what I could remember.  “I was running, there were… metal people.”

“Cybermen,” I looked up. His expression became somber than a look of shame crossing his face brieflybut disappeared as quickly.

I pretended not to notice and shrugged. “I ran out onto the street. I was looking for someone, but I don’t remember… There was a girl, a blonde girl, she was shouting at the people.”

“Rose.” The man’s eyes were immense and dark in the bright light, his voice filled with a desperate hope.

“She grabbed my arm and pulled me along with her, there was fire all around us. I-I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but we ran.  She wouldn’t let go- there was an explosion. I was so scared, I tried to pull away.  I remember pain, screaming. Then- I woke up here, with you.”

His once hopeful eyes were now filled with tears staring into mine, he sniffed backing away rubbing his eyes dashing the un-fallen tears. “No,” he shook his head. “There has to be more, that can’t be all.”

“I’m sorry-“

“No, she’s not gone, that can’t be it.” He sniffed tightening his arms about himself as if he were cold.  “This doesn’t make sense, this isn’t possible.” He said as a matter of fact.  “Humans can’t transfer their minds like this, even if it were Rose would be in there with you, but she’s not- I would have felt her. Mind transference takes technology that the human race is not even capable of yet not for about another five hundred years.”

“Five hundred- I don’t understand.”

“The Cybermen wouldn’t have done it.” He continued, “There would be no point, it’s not how they operate. They have the technology to make it, but transferring one mind into another, there would be no reason for it, and a waste of resources. It’s not what they do,” he rambled on pacing from one point of the room.  I opened my mouth to speak again, but he just kept going, so I sat quietly watching, hoping for some answers in his jumble of words. “A mind is a highly sensitive thing. It doesn’t take much to destroy a mind, anyone’s mind, this doesn’t make sense… unless.” He froze in his tracks, spinning around on his heel he stared at me with a wide eyed and shouted. “You’re not human.”

“W-what?”

“That’s it isn’t it,” he hollered excitedly spinning round to face me.  “There are thousands of telepathic species across the universe, but only a small handful that can make a full mind transfer from one body to another without help from some sort of technology.  And only two of those thousands that can make a full mind swap could be passed off as human. The other looks like a slug about the size of a horse with extremely slimy wings.”

“Horse slugs…” I stammered. His sudden burst of enthusiasm had caught me totally off guard.

“You’re a Qanrain,” he clapped.  “Now it makes perfect sense, well not perfect sense still it’s the only one that adds up.”

“Wait, what’s a Qanrain, and how does any of this make sense?” I asked as I attempted to keep my voice steady. “Absolutely none of this makes any sense at all, you’re just going on and on, and it’s like you’re making it up as you go. I don’t even know who the hell you are or where we are or anything at all.”

He grinned straighten up his expression smug and somewhat arrogant. “I’m the Doctor, and a Qanrain is your race,” he said as if that were the answer to everything.

“Race, what do you mean race and Doctor of what?” I asked quite dumbstruck on how we got from him threatening my life to sudden fast friends, but we aren’t friends. I could still feel his emotions it has lessened some, but I could feel the uncertainty and anger still boiling just below the service.  I needed to tread carefully that I knew.

“Just the Doctor, you’re an alien not from earth, non-human.”

“Not human, not… are you absolutely insane? And what kind of name is “just the Doctor” any ways?”

“Hey what’s wrong with my name?” He feigned hurt, he was enjoying this little game like a cat with a mouse. I most defiantly was the mouse. “And you are most defiantly an alien, so am I.” He shrugged as it were the most ordinary conversation in the world.

My head began to ache even more, this whole thing was getting me nowhere fast. “So we are both aliens, and those things, those Cyber people.”

“Cybermen.”

“Cybermen, right, how could I forget?  Oh yeah, I’ve been hit on the head and is obviously suffering from massive brain damage,” I snapped,  I couldn’t help it, this all had to be some sort of nightmare, maybe I’m just sleeping and none of this really happened.

“Nope, you’re brain scan is clear. You have a concussion, but as long as you relax and don’t overdo it you’ll be alright. “

“Right, and I’m supposed to believe you. Some mad man who calls himself the Doctor, who is an alien and state’s I’m one to.”

“Yep.” He said emphasizing the p with an overzealous pop.

Inhaling another shaky breath, and all I could do was stare and try to process all of this.  I couldn’t even entertain the idea of believing him, but part of me did because of those metal robots. The sound of their metal feet marching in unison. They weren’t human.  And the news, all the things that have been happening the past few years, spaceships strange beings from other planets, I never truly believed it until now.  It couldn’t actually be true could it? He was staring back at me with a goofy half smile on his face.

 “Alright then The Doctor, what happens now?”

“No, no not the Doctor, just Doctor. And what happens next is we figure out how this happened to you and to Rose. I’m guessing that where ever your body is will be where we find Rose’s mind.”

“So what you’re telling me is that this Rose girl she’s in my body and I’m in hers?” This sounded as if it were straight out of an extremely crummy T.V show.

“Yes, but I don’t think it’s all that simple. These things never are. Plus I have to do some work on the TARDIS she’s barely fit to go anywhere right now.”

“TARDIS?”

“ **T** ime  **a** nd  **R** elative  **D** imension  **i** n  **S** pace T.A.R.D.I.S, TARDIS.”

“And that would be?”

“My ship,” he said with pride and patted the small console beside him.

“Your… ship, like a space ship?”

“Yep.” Even though, he was grinning at me, but I could still feel the sensation of emotions coming off him.

“We’re on a space ship, in space is what you’re telling me?”

“Well we're not in space at the moment, and this is not just a space ship,” he said and leaned against the panel. “Time machine, were in the vortex safest place for us at the moment,” he grinned, and my stomach lurched maybe if I just close my eyes I’ll wake up. This has to be a horrible dream, this actually can’t be happening.  I squeezed my eyes shut tight and try and will all of this madness to go away.  I felt his strong hands on each side of my face. A rush of emotions threatened to over whelm me.

“What’s wrong, are you still in pain?” His words matched the emotions that were not my own, a flash of something surged through my mind a memory a feeling an image, but it’s gone now.

“I want to go home,” I whisper, and his thumb wiped away a stray tear, I wasn’t even aware that I was crying.

“I know, I swear I will do everything in my ability to fix this. Everything will be alright.”

“How can you know that, truly know for sure?”

“Because I’m the Doctor,” his voice was determined and full of confidence, but I could feel the uncertainty mixed in with the confidence. When I open my eyes I can see the mask he wears, the facade his words that don’t match his feelings.”

“Don’t lie to me,” I murmur. “I hate when people lie to me.”

“I’m not…”

“You are I can feel it, you’re saying one thing and feeling another. Don’t treat me like a child that you have to coddle.”

His eyes widened in surprise pulling his hand sharply away from my face as if it caused him physical pain.  “What do you mean you can feel it, feel what?” His voice flat all the false bravado was entirely gone.

“You. I can feel you. Ever since you were in my head. I wasn’t sure at first, but…”

The Doctor took a small step away. “That shouldn’t happen.  No, once the connection was severed... Can you still feel it?” He asked, swallowing hard. When I nodded and his frown deepened. “No, no that can’t be right you shouldn’t…  I mean, I can feel yours, but I’m a Time Lord, I can always feel emotions when I try, that’s how I knew you weren’t lying but you shouldn’t be able to feel mine.”  

Turning away from me he strode across the room, turning back around to face me. “How about now, stronger, weaker the same.”

“Same… look, forget I even said anything.”

“Oh no, that’s not how this works, I put up a barrier you shouldn’t feel anything from me anymore. Have you always been able to feel emotions so strongly? I mean, I know you’re people are extraordinarily strong telepaths, but you’re not exactly in your body right now. I know Rose doesn’t have a telepathic thought in her head. So how is this happening?”

“I don’t know alright. All you do is talk, talk, and talk question after question.  I. Don’t. Know. If you haven’t noticed I don’t have much of a memory at the moment.”

“Right, right I’m sorry. I honestly shouldn’t be pushing so hard after everything… Right then, let’s get you settled maybe a change and the rest will help.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a very confusing man?”

“All the time actually,” he put on another fake smile and this time I chose to ignore that fact, this was getting us nowhere, and a hot bath sounded so fantastic right now. “Come on, I’ll show you to Roses room. Everything you’ll need is in there.” He said holding out his hand for me to take, instinctively I reached out taking it eagerly.

When I stood up the room, began to spin causing me to stumble.  “Ah, easy there, not so fast,” he said holding me still his hands grasped firmly on my shoulders. “You’re going to be a little wobbly for a few days, you’ll need to move slowly.”

I nodded my reply, and he released my shoulders but only long enough to hold my hand guiding towards the door slowly. As we walked my mind wandered, I had so many questions after leaving the medical bay.  If this is a space ship then why was it, not in space? Were we on Earth, or anywhere near Earth? And if this were a Time Machine why doesn’t he just go back and fix it. Maybe he can’t maybe…

“I can’t cross my own time line, or yours or Roses,” he spoke suddenly braking me from my swirling thoughts.

“What?”

“That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it? Why can’t I just go back and stop all of this from happening.”

“What are you a mind reader?” I chuckled half-heartedly.

“What? No. Well, I could but that would be just rude. It’s just a general thought when someone hears Time Machine.”

“Oh, okay.” Was all I could say, I wasn’t going to pretend I understood, but I got the gist of it either way. It wasn’t long before we fell back into a comfortable silence.  I could still feel the tension as I held tight to his hand, I know it wasn’t necessary, but I honestly felt the need to hold on to something, otherwise I felt as if none of this is real, and just some horrid nightmare. I felt guilty causing him so much misery, I mean all he wants is his friend back and here I am all stuck up in her head and no idea how to fix it. 

The halls twisted and turned this way, and that, some doors were enormous looming and metal with what seemed like intricate locks while others were ordinary wood similar to what you would be in someone’s home, a stark contrast and looked entirely out of place on such an enormous ship. There were arch ways that lead into open rooms, I couldn’t actually see what was in them, and my curiosity was severely peeked. I hoped that perhaps when I was well enough he would give me a tour of the ship, it never hurt to ask, making a mental note to do just that when all of this madness had settled.  We stopped in front of what looked like a dark oak wood door. There were intricate designs carved into the wood, circular patterns with precise curved lines I had noticed the same patterns on some of the other doors and arch ways, but this one seemed slightly different more complex, it was beautiful.  Reaching out I ran my fingers along one of the larger of the circles, I became distinctly aware of the low hum of this ship and wondered why I had never noticed it before.

“It’s Gallifreyan, the lost language of the Time Lords,” his voice was reminisce and somewhat sad, he felt sorrow and loss was this the writing of his people, and if so how was it lost?

“It very beautiful, what does it say?” I asked but regretted it almost immediately although his expression did not falter what he felt made my heart break into pieces. The Doctor stared at the writing as if he were about to tell me, but I knew he wouldn’t.  His feelings alone told me so much about this lonely soul, and I felt like an intruder to his most private feelings. I never wished for anything more than to be able to throw a switch and take away his pain.

 He looked at me now another fake smile with those sad lonely brown eyes. “Who cares about old writing anyway, eh?” He joked taking a hold of the brass handle and pushing the door open wide.

I honestly wasn’t expecting what I saw on the other side, by the looks of the door I figured it would be a room that was filled with old books, dark wooden walls and everything something supremely Victorian… and clean.  Well it wasn’t dirty per say, it wasn’t like there was dirt everywhere it was just messy...  The room itself was warmly lit, and very, extremely large you could fit four king size beds in here and still have ample room. There was only one bed, an extraordinarily large and the deep purple and black sheets hung crumples and draped half onto the floor. The walls were white, and extremely simple not the dark rich wood I half expected it to be, clothes were strung all over the room. Some hanging from chairs, while others sat in heaps on the floor.  Whomever this woman was she was by far not a neat freak. I stood there gapping at the horrendous disaster that was supposed to be the bedroom.

“What do you think?” The Doctor asked gently pushing me further into the room before closing the door behind us.

“I-I, uh.”

“Nice isn’t it?”

“Does this woman know the meaning of a laundry basket?” I questioned then realized how ignorant and ungrateful I must have sounded.  “I mean, I like it, it’s durable and lots of space and…”

“Ah, yes,” he stammered rubbing the back of his head nervously.  “Well the TARDIS normally takes care of the mess. Though, I think she was becoming slightly annoyed with Rose’s lack of tidiness. We’re always so busy it’s sometimes hard to keep up with the small things.”

“Small things, it takes like five minutes to put the wash away if done properly,” I murmured, the hum from the ship grew louder for a brief moment, a gentle what could only be described at a caress tickled my mind but it had been so quick may have been a side effect of the bump on the head.

The Doctor chuckled and patted my shoulder. “The TARDIS seems to agree with you on that,” he said with a grin.

“What do you mean, agrees with me? It’s a machine.”

“Oi, she’s more than that. The TARDIS is a sentient being if you keep that up she can be pretty upset when she’s offended.”

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know.” I said a little too loudly.

“She’s not deaf, you don’t need to shout.”

“Right, emotional Time Machine, I’ll remember that… So what now?”

“Uh, well you can bathe or shower in there,” he said pointing towards the closed door across the room, “Or whatever human needs you have.” He shifted uncomfortably, and I could feel myself blushing as a million thoughts raced through my head, then realizing that I’m not only feeling his emotional state, he can feel mine as well and just made be blush even more. 

“Thanks,” I stated uncomfortably as I waited for him to leave, but he just stood there looking at me. “Well…” I pronounced motioning my head towards the way we came in.

“OH! Right, yes. I should leave you to it then,” mumbled fumbling his words but still not making a motion to vacate.

“Is there something wrong?”

“What? No, no everything’s brilliant. Well, I would feel better if you would let me stay.”

“And what, watch me shower?” This conversation was headed into extremely dangerous territory.

“No! I mean, ah, no. I’ll stay out here while you do whatever it is you do in there.”

“Whatever I do in there? You mean bathe myself, wash my hair, and get this crud off my body.” Holding my suit covered hands up for him to see. “What else would I do in a bath?”

“I don’t know, I don’t make a habit of watching humans wash. I just thought encase you needed anything, you’re still a little unsteady I thought…” he continued to falter then dashed over to the night side table, and grabbed one of the crumpled towels and threw it at me. “Just go, clean up. I’ll just go get us something to eat instead.”

“Good idea, I’ll be fine I’m sure.”

“You’re right, the TARDIS will let me know if anything happens.”

“Good to know, go, now, before you talk yourself into a corner again.”

“Right, you’re right of course.” Tripping over a pile of clothes the Doctor scurried past me then slipped out the door closing it softly.

I was alone. Everything was quiet except the soft reassuring hum of the TARDIS, and I realized how dirty I felt.  Carefully stripping off the torn leather jacket I stared wondering how all of this happened, and how strange all of this was. I wouldn’t never have worn something like this, not that it wasn’t nice or anything it just wasn’t my style. I’m not even sure what my style is but this felt wrong like so many things.  I tossed the jacket into the trash bin beside the door and sighed. Slowly made my way around the land mines of clothes and scattered items removing bits of cloth as I went, wrapping the towel tight around me, I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.

The bathroom was a bit too bright, like the medical bay everything was spotless and immaculate with stainless steel sink and exceptionally large off white in ground tub, it reminded me more of a hot tub you could fit half a dozen of me in there and still have room. This Doctor seems to like everything extravagant, and large making me wondered idly if he were compensating for something. That thought made me chuckle, but as I stood over the tub I found was grateful for its size and couldn’t wait to soak, but there wasn’t a sign of any taps and I felt like a complete idiot standing there staring at an empty tub.  Suddenly water began to gush out along the top rim of the tub, slowly filling it steam rolled off the water and I took a deep relaxing breath.

“Thank you,” I said to the empty room, feeling a little silly as I did.  The gentle tickle in my mind returned, and I was now acutely aware how not alone I am in here. “You really are alive aren’t you,” I murmured, and turned away from the tub to face the sink so I could wash away some of the caked on dirt from my body. 

And then I froze. I was staring into a large unadorned mirror that hung above the sink.  At first all I could do is stare at the stranger that stared back at me. This wasn’t right, it wasn’t me. I touched my face and watched as the woman in the mirror did the same.

“This isn’t right, this is all wrong.” Tears stung my eyes, my brown eyes, not blue the colour was all wrong. Everything was wrong, I sobbed my hand covering my mouth. I wanted to scream to cry out but this strange person, this unfamiliar body... I let the towel that had wrapped around me fall to the floor, my eyes never leaving the reflection before me. This body, it’s not mine. Pain ripped through my head and I cried out, pressing my hands tight against my temples. Flashes of memories flooded my mind, a girl black hair blue eyes. She smiles, she loves sunshine and Orchids, mint ice-cream. She’s afraid of heights and dark black waters.  She’s laughing at something, someone… Pain tore through my mind again, my knee giving out from under me. I’m falling, I vaguely feel pain in my jaw as the coppery taste of blood fills my mouth. I hardly notice as the pain in my skull worsens into a heavy pounding. I gasp, and choking on the blood that filled my mouth.  I can feel everything around me spinning, there’s panic in the air, and it’s not all mine. I try and cry out, but the darkness is pulling me down.  Theirs shouting, it’s happening again. I fight the darkness as it threatens to overwhelm me, I need to get away. The voices are so far away.

“ROSE, NO. Stay with me, Rose.”  It’s him my savior, my broken Doctor… I can feel a whisper in my mind, a small caress. Then I plunge into the dark where the demons await me.

“Annie…”


	3. Chapter 3

I can feel the sun, warm on my face. A feeling of contentment sweeps over me, and I can't remember the last time I've felt this way. It seems like a lifetime ago. I absolutely love the summer, it has always been my favorite time of year. Green grass, flowers, everything is so alive, and in full bloom. It's like…

"Earth to Annie." A familiar voice pulls me from my wandering thoughts. "There you go not listening to me again. I honestly don't know why I bother sometimes." Dark green eyes stare back at me from across a table. I recognize his face, so friendly, that always lights up whenever he sees me.

Shaggy blonde hair that I always playfully tease him about hangs in his face, and I think to myself he likes it when I tease him, that's why he keeps it that way. He's young, maybe early twenties, younger than me but not by much. A sharp pain throbs in my head, I try and ignore it. I stare at him, and I'm not sure how I know this person. He smiles at me. A pang of guilt creeps in. He's my best friend and he loves me. I know this is true, but I don't remember how. I know that I don't love him that way, even though most of the time I wish I did.

"Annie?" His brow pulls together, worry lines carve along the corners of his eyes. Far too young for that, I think to myself, he's always worrying about everything. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yes. Of course. I'm fine." Surprise bubbles up when I speak, that strange voice that doesn't belong to me is back, just like before. Before? Fear prickles along the edges of my mind, something is wrong.

I try to be nonchalant glancing about at my surroundings, and I find myself sitting outside of my favorite coffee shop. I look back at the man in front of me, and a memory flickers. "Adam?" Of course, his name comes to me like a small electric shock. Although it still feel as if I've forgotten something very important that I need to remember.

"Yeah?" He frowns. "Annie, what's wrong?" He takes my hand and suddenly it's like a flood gate is opened in my mind, and everything comes back in a rush. Jumping to my feet I pull away from his touch.

"Anna, I'm Anna." I exclaim excitedly. "You, you call me Annie, you started it. I hated it at first but now…" My mind reels with the overdose of information as I try to sort through it. "ADAM!" I screechand he recoils from me slightly, but I'm just too excited to care. "Adam, Adam." I snap my fingers repeatedly its right there, I can feel it. "ADAM KING! You're Adam King, we went to college together we met when your sister Shelley had a mental breakdown in Biology, and threw an open canister of Moth balls at the professor." I'm elated now as all the pieces start to fall into place. "I remember Adam, I remember everything!" But Adam doesn't share my enthusiasm. Instead stares at me wide eyed like I'm completely bonkers.

"Annie, you're scaring the hell out of me." His voice is shaky and something about how he says it fills me with an instant feeling of dread.

Memories flash before my eyes, fire and ash filling the streets. My chest feels tight. Then I remember. "You should be scared Adam, you're dead. I watched you die." My voice cracks as I say the words that I know to be true. "I remember now, it happened on Sunday late afternoon. You called me in the morning. You said you had something important to tell me, and to meet you here at five after you finished work." I look down at my empty mug on the table, I can't stand to look at him anymore. I can't see his ghost that now haunts me, but I continue because I know if I don't it makes all of this more real. "You ordered coffee, and I thought that was strange because I know you hate it. You were so nervousand I tried not to laugh, because I always found your awkwardness endearing." I was rambling now. I don't want to see him, and I can't have it happen again. Maybe if I keep talking it won't happen this time. Maybe. "You never did tell me what you wanted," I whisper.

"You know, and I think you always knew Annie." His voice was soft and sweet like I always remembered it to be. I fight back the sorrow that threatens to consume me, and nod my acknowledgement, holding back the tears.

I don't want to look at him, but I have to look. No, I have to say goodbye. If I don't I will always have regret. I look up taking my gaze away from the empty mug. My stomach twists and I feelbile rise up my throat. It wasn't Adam anymore, not my Adam, not the boy who would sit will me for hours on end to listen to my endless banters. The boy that would drop everything and anything he was doing if I needed him. This Adam is slumped in the chair across from me. The left side of his face was charred black, the skin bubbled and peeling away. An enormous gash ran deep from his temple across to his chin, blood soaking his clothes and wide dead eyes stare in fear. This is how he looked the last time I seen him, this face is forever burned into my mind. Tears fall in hot streaks down my face as I take a step back.

He was about to say it when it happened, I remember now. "I should have told you think before how I felt, but I was scared. Not anymore. Annie, I…" His words echo through my mind as the building across the street explodes, the ground shakes, and people are running about screaming. The blast knocks me down, and I lay on the ground stunned, to in shock to scream. Then I hear the footsteps of metal feet pounding against the ground, the robotic voices barking orders amongst the chaos. All I can see is Adams broken, bloodied body crumpled, half covered by burning rubble.

"I'm so sorry Adam, I'm sorry."

~OoO~

My eyes fly openand I am instantly aware. I can feel my heart thundering in my chest as I fight to keep my breathing steady. I remember the strange man, the Doctor, he calls himself. I remember how upset he was the last time I woke up from this horrible nightmare, and how I was almost as frightened of him as I was of the metal people. Almost. I fight back the remains of the dream, pushing away the look on Adam's face. I want to be ready this time, and I don't know what to expect. I'm not in the same place as before. This bed isn't as hard and unforgiving as the last one, and I am covered by a thick heavy blanket, that is pressed against my face.

There's a clicking soundand I feel the bed shift slightly, and the voice of the Doctor hisses beside me in what I think is a curse. At least it sounds like one, but it isn't English. He's in bed with me, my mind reels with this thought. Why is he in bed with me? The sound of scraping metal and the bed gently shifting, a faint smell of what I think is grease, and a loud swirling buzz almost killing my curiosity. I have to know what he's doing.

Carefully I shift myself as to get a better view hopefully without him noticing that I'm awake, pulling the blanket slowly away from my face. He's sitting beside me, so close I can reach out and touch him if I wanted too. A small breakfast table is stretched out on his lap on it is little bits of wire and screws strung out on top. In his hand is a fairly large what looks like a piece of an engine cradled in one hand.

At some point he changed and is now wearing a crisp clean blue suit, and a pair of thick dark rimmed glasses that sit snug on his face. He's clean now, his hair instead of dirty and sticking up everywhere looked soft, but messy and styled that way. As I lay and watch him I find the whole thing relaxing, and I realize that this feeling of contentment I've been feeling has been coming from him. This is his element, happily tinkering away and I find myself very happy to watch and become lost in his calm, emotional state.

"You know it's considered rude to stare. On some planets it's highly offensive," he said glancing down at me a huge grin spread across his face.

"Sorry," my murmur voice thick with sleep. "How long have you known I was awake?"

The Doctor shrugs returning his attention back to his work. "From the moment you woke up."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I question, slowly sitting up. My body still aching and my tongue is slightly swollen and sore.

"Why didn't you?" he retorts, but continues before I can respond. "How's your head? You gave me a real scare there. Again. You almost bit your tongue off when your face hit the sink." He frowns, placing the small engine onto the table then turned himself to face me, his legs crossed. "Why didn't you tell me your head was bothering you? I would have stayed, I should have stayed."

He is blaming himself. It is a crazy notion but his feelings don't lie, I've learned in the short time I've known him. "I didn't think it was that bad, just a little dizzy. It was the mirror."

"The mirror?"

I nod leaning back against the pillow. "She's not me…"

Realization crosses his face, he groans. "Of course, I'm so stupid. I didn't think of that. I'm sorry. I can be so thick sometimes, your brain must have shorted out a bit."

"My brain… what?"

"Shorted out, well more like rebelled and shut down. You see a reflection that is not you own, your brain can see that it's not your proper reflation. It can't coupe and shorted out. It happens in young Time Lords sometimes with their first regeneration. Everything is different, it takes some time to get used to, but you'll get used to it."

"Regeneration?"

He sighs. "Long story for another time. I brought you food, but you took so long to wake up its gone cold," he said placing a cold plate of fish and chips. I wrinkle my nose as the smell turns my stomach. "It's Roses favorite, I didn't know what else to make."

Carefully I pick up one of the cold soggy fries letting it drop back onto the plate. "I'm not really hungry, but thank you."

"You have to eat something." He scolds me taking the plate away, setting it on the table among the bits of wire and parts. "How about you get dressed, and I take you down to the kitchen and you can pick anything you like?" My stomach growls in response, the Doctor grins. "There you have it then, up you get." he said hastily moving the table carefully off the bed then jumping up offering me his hand. My body protests and I gingerly take his hand and pushing the covers away with my other.

I look aroundand the once messy room is now spotless all of the clothing and clutter that was now put away in their proper places. "It's clean." I smile up at him, and he grins back.

"I got bored, and I thought that it might make you feel better to wake up to a clean room." It's at that moment when I remember that I had been completely naked before I blacked out, and was now clean and wearing a sleek cream coloured nightgown, and that I know I hadn't put on myself. My face must be about ten shades of red, the Doctors eyes grew wide when he realized where my mind had went.

"Oh, I- uh, you needed. Ah, I didn't look. I mean I had to look, but you were bleeding and dirty, I was very professional, there was no unnecessary touching I promise," he stammered pulling his hand away. "I'll wait outside while you dress." He flew out of the room before I could even respond, he seems to make a habit of that, doing my best not to think of what he seen or did to my unconscious body, but it's not my body is it? Lifting my hand I look at it, even it looks strange. I wiggle my fingers, and they feel like fingers, this feels like a body but just strange, like everything is in the right place just not the same shape.

My stomach growls again, even more loudly this time, breaking me from my thoughts. I make my way over to a large wardrobe in the corner of the room, pulling it open. Before me is an enormous selection of clothes from all different time periods, it would take me forever to go through them all. Deciding simple would be the best course I grab a pair of tight fitted jeans and a black jumper. After a short rummage about to try and find a pair of knickers that we're nothing, but a lacy string I quickly dress and run a brush through my now blonde hair, ignoring the uneasy feeling in my stomach before stepping out of the room.

The Doctor is leaning against the wall across from the door to my room as I step out, closing the door behind me. A huge grin spreads across his face. "Feel better?" he asks and I can still feel the nervous energy rolling off of him.

"Much." I return his smile with one of my own, and a small bit a relief washes over us both. "I wanted to thank you Doctor, for everything you've done for me."

Clearing his throat the Doctor pushes himself off the wall offering me his hand once more, and I take it gladly. "Thank me for what? Scaring you half to death,threatening you, invading your mind. You shouldn't be thanking me, I should be apologizingand I am. I'm sorry Annie."

At first I wanted to protest. I understood why he did what he did, and why he had done it. But when he said my real name it causes me to stumble mid step. "What did you call me?" As I question him my blood begins to turn cold. He looks at me with shame, not even trying to hide it anymore. The Doctor turns and faces me taking my other hand in his squeezing them reassuringly.

"You were having a nightmare, I was just trying to help. I didn't mean..."

"You were in my head again, you saw it, my nightmare?" I asked as my body starts to tremble again, the memory of it still fresh in my mind. "Not everything, I think I made a mistake, a rather big one actually. When you told me you could feel my emotions even after our connection was severed, I realized I could sense yours as well."

"But you told me you can always feel a persons emotions."

"Well, true but not like this. You see Time Lords, like the Qan'rain are normally connected almost like I hive mind. We sense the others of our species, sort of a link, but since I've been the last and I wasn't aware that you are what you are, so we're sort of linked together. Its how I knew you were in trouble, I could feel your panic." His voice became softer as he babbled on, and I could tell he was sincerely sorry for whatever it was he was trying to tell me.

I stare at him trying to understand what he's trying to say from his senseless rambling, but only understanding small bits and pieces. "Are you saying your brain is meshed with mine?"

"Sort of, not really, yes, I mean. No, it's much more complicated than that. Much, too complicated."

This is a lot to take in, and as far as I'm concerned I'm completely human. I remember being a kid, growing up, going to school. Sure, I didn't have parents per say, but everything in my life has been human otherwise, hasn't it?

"Then uncomplicated it, because I really don't understand any of this. There has to be a way to un-mesh us, I can't have you in my head all of the time." My voice shook slightly, betraying my attempt to keep it together.

"I know, Annie, I am sorry, but there is no way, believe me I wish there were."

Anger bubbles up inside me, "Don't!" I growl pulling away from him. "Don't call me that, you don't get to use that name." Hot tears stream down my face as thoughts of Adam plague my mind. My feelings getting the better of me. "Fix this, fix it now... Please." I beg.

He feels guilty, and I know I have every right to be angry with him, but the look on his face and the emotions from him deflates me. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled." I mutter quietly.

"You have every right to be angry with me, what I did... I should have been more careful, and I wasn't."

Shaking my head I slump forward, this was getting us nowhere fast. "Can we talk about this later, I'm starving and I just can't think about all of this anymore."

"Of course, yes," he said slipping his hand into mine. "Let's go raid the kitchen." he beamed slipping on another false mask then leading me down one of the many twisting halls.


End file.
